| | I have decided that I am going to dwell on the past no longer. I mean, really, what sense does it make? It cannot be changed, no matter how much I would like, I cannot go back, so what is the point of getting upset at myself each and every time it comes up?
Dwelling on the past distracts me from the future, and, more importantly, the NOW.
Seriously this time.
I have been praying about it a lot, and I finally read some different things that really helped me, and I shall be brought down no longer from my past mistakes and regrets. Although I know I could've done better, and I knew better, it is the past and that is where it should stay. I have learned from it, and I know that it happened for a reason and I had to go through that to be the person I am today
:)
I've been trying to read every night. It gives me strength. I need to start reading every morning to start my day off on a positive note, though. I enjoy my sleep so much though :(
I'm really trying to do better and shine my light. It is difficult, though. I've noticed that since I have decided to do better there has been even more temptation. . . very difficult.
My interview for the RA position next year was today!! It went really well, I think. Come to find out Brandi (my interviewer) told my RD that I did really well. That makes me happy. I'm not really worried about not getting it. If I do, thats great and I'll do my absolute best, if not, then it was just not meant to be, and that is fine with little ole me :] I wasn't even that nervous for the interview. I was pretty confident. I feel like I have finally started to really come out of my shell . . . hopefully I'll come out even more if I become an RA. We shall see!
-- I've been seriously considering meeting up with Sarah next time she comes in. I e-mailed her today just seeing how she has been, because I have been thinking about her. I hope she doesn't think it's because she has been communicating with A.
My only worries are that if we do meet, she will tell someone about it or she will tell someone (mostly A) what I wanted to talk to her about. This will take a lot of trust on my end to meet with her and confide in her. I just don't want to get screwed over again :S |
| | Posted 2/24/2009 5:36 PM - 5 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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